Stefano Benini ("Il Manifesto")

Kako je Srbija okupirala Ameriku

         Stefano Benini ("Il Manifesto")

Serbia occupies America

      U Vashingtonu drzhavni sekretar Olbrajt odbija primedbe da je bez veze ushla u rat. Predsednik Klinton je brani govoreci: "Gospodja Olbrajt ostaje na svom mestu, ona je nedodirljiva, shto mogu lichno da vam potvrdim jer
je jedina zhena u Beloj kuci koju nisam ni pipnuo".

      Pentagon pokazuje slike jednog vazhnog objekta koji je pogodjen: garazha gde se pre dvadeset godina nalazila kasarna srpske vojske. Na pitanje kakvog smisla ima bombardovati jedan objekt napushten pre dvadeset godina, Pentagon odgovara da je to bila proba i da je trebalo da intervenishu ranije. Ali, sada treba tuci josh jache.

      Iz Avijana polecu avioni na tako maloj distanci tako da su se vec chetiri vec "naguzila". Svi americhki nosachi aviona se ustremljuju ka Mediteranu. D'Alema ponavlja da ne veruje u proshirenje napada, iako je njegova vikendica na obali reakvizirana za ratne upotrebe.

      Bler ponavlja da se protivi slanju kopnenih trupa, ali da bi jedna atomska bomba mogla da otvori put prema dogovorima.

Dvadeset osmi dan rata

      Srpska vojska ulazi u Trst, gde u par barova trazhi OVK. Miloshevic ne priznaje da je to tachno pa chak pobija da srpska vojska uopshte postoji, kune se da ih je sve poslao na odmor od mesec dana. Izjavljuje na televiziji
da je srpski narod taj koji brani svoju zemlju. Nedugo zatim, predsednikov sekretar precizira da se termin "svoj" ne odnosi na narod, nego na Miloshevica. Milosheviceva supruga koju je intervjuisao jedan poznati novirar, odriche postojanje izbeglica i kazhe da je to sve nameshtaljka
NATO, a kao dokaz pokazuje da su to stari filmovi jer se u redovima jasno vidi Kirk Daglas. Ne priznaje da je to stari ratni film, ne priznaje da poznaje Miloshevica i ne priznaje da isti hoce da okupira Albaniju, bolja bi bila Bugarska.

Trideset shesti dan

      General Klark objavljuje poslednje uspehe strategije NATO. Unishteno je pedeset i shest satelitskih antena na krovu jedne kasarne, sa teshkim oshtecenjima na moralu istih. Pogodjena su i dva voza, ali samo druga klasa.
Bombardovan je jedan trzhni centar gde je nekad bilo sedishte Ministarstva za morski saobracaj i jedan stan gde je Miloshevic kao student igrao poker. Na pitanje da li su bila pogodjena blindirana vozila ili tenkovi, general odgovara da nepogreshiva ratna mashinerija americhke vojske pokushava da shvati gde su sakriveni i da nevidljivi avioni i sateliti shpijuniraju i chekaju da vojnici izadju na pishanje, ne bi li ih videli.
      Klinton shalje josh tri stotine aviona i svoja dva psa tragacha. D'Alema ne veruje da ce se konflikt proshiriti, smatra da Italija ne napada nego samo prisustvuje akciji odbrane i ako neki Srbin i pogine, to je samo shto nije
rezumeo duh nasheg uchestvivanja. Bosi preduzima neverovatnu diplomatsku inicijativu predlazhuci da se Miloshevicu dodeli parlamentarni imunitet. Berluskoni se odmah slazhe, ali njegovima treba nekoliko sati da mu
objasne o chemu se radi. Ispred Brindizija se jedan iza drugog postrojava 26 nosacha aviona, tako da nedostaje samo sto metara da bi dohvatili jugoslovensku obalu. Tako niko nece moci da nam kazhe kako trupe shaljemo kopnom.
      Ujedinjene nacije josh jednom zagovnavaju stvar ostavljajuci NATO da nadgleda kampove s izbeglicama. Cela Italija skuplja pare da pomogne onim tamo Albancima, tako mirnim i pristojnim, koji ni malo ne liche na bande pljachkasha i razbojnika koji vrshljaju po nashim gradovima.

nastavice se...

      NATO general Wesley Clark Kent thinks that the Kosovo humanitarian aid is not sufficient. Three hundred more aircraft are needed. He repeats that he is not afraid of World War III, American war machinery is perfect. The Serbian train was bombed because it was not running on time, it  means that the Yugoslav Railways are guilty for poor functioning. He added: "And if we (NATO) bombed the refugees, we are sorry, that is not a military problem, it is a problem of good behaviour."

      In Washington, the state secretary Albright does not admit the accusations that she has blindly entered the war. President Clinton advocates her, saying: "Mrs. Albright remains at her position, she is untouchable, which I can personaly confirm because she is the only woman in the White House whitch I did not lay a finger on."

     The Pentagon shows photos of an important object being hit: a garage where twenty years ago were the Serbian Army barracks. Being asked what is the sense of bombing an object abandoned for twenty years, the Pentagon answered that it was a test and that there shuould have been an intervention earlier. But now, the strike must be intensified.

     Aircraft are taking off from Aviano at such a short distace that four of them  are already "touching each other's  asses" (pardon my french). American aircraft carriers are heading towards the Mediteranian. D' Alema states that he does not believe in the spresding of the attack, athough his shore house is occupied for utilization in war purposes.

     Tony Blair declares that he is opposing to the ground troop deployment, but he stated that an atomic bomb would open a path towards negotiations.

Twenty-eighth day

     Serbian army enters Trieste, Italy, where they look for KLA in afew bars. Milosevic does not admit this, he even denies the existance of a Serbian army, he vows that he sent them all on vacation. He declares on television that the Serbian people are the ones defending their motherland. Short after that, the president's secretary defines that the term "their" is not reffering to the people, but to Milosevic. Milosevic's wife, interviewed by a famous journalist, denies the very existence of any refugees, and claims that it is all a NATO set-up, and as evidence, she proves that the supposed "footages" are nothing but old movies because you can clearly see Kirk Douglas among the "refugees". She refuses to admit thatt it is an old war movie, she states that she does not know any Milosevic and that he is trying to occupie Albania, Bulgaria would be a better asset.

Thirty-sixth day

     General Clark announces the latest successes on NATO strategy. Fifty-six sattelite antenas on a barracks roof with heavy damage on their morale. Two trains are hit, but only second class. A comercial center is also hit, some time ago, there were the ofices of the Ministry of Sea Traffic, and an appartment where Milosevic was playing poker when he was a student. Asked if any armored vehicles or tanks were hit, the general stated that the unmistakeable American war machinery is trying to figure out where the hell are they hidden, and that the STEALTH aircraft and sattelites are spying and are waiting for the soldiers to get out to take a leak, maybe they would be seen.

     Clinton sends three hundred more planes and his two bloodhounds. D'Alema does not believe that the conflict will spread, he thinks that Italy does not attack, Italy is just present in the actionof defence, and if any Serbian dies, it is because he did not understood the spirit of Italy's presence in the action. Bosi takes over an unbelievable diplomatic initiative to give Milosevic a parlamentary immunity. Berlosconi immediately agrees with that, but his people need a few hours to explain to him what is going on. Twenty-six aircraft carriers are aligning near Brindizi, so that only a hundred meters are remaining to reach the Yugoslavian shore, so nobody can say that they are sending troops by land.

     United Nations are shitting-up again the whole thing by letting NATO supervising the refugee camps. Whole Italy is raizing money to help those Albanians, so peace-loving and decent wich do not look like gangs of robbers and marauders wich roam in Yogoslavian cities.

to be continued...